Monday, July 29, 2013
FLY BIRDIE FLY
They called it, “The Empty Nest Syndrome.” I guess it would be true for me. Besides my youngest son getting ready to graduate from high school and based on the conversations, the applications processed and paid for, and even visits to schools; I gather I am going to have to get ready for him to be off to college and leave the nest called, “HOME.” It is the right of passage of a young man becoming a man. He going to test his wings and fly from the mother bird....ME! I knew it was going to happen one day: I just didn't think it would come so fast. I can still remember the day he was born. Even the scent of skin as they bundled him up in his blanket and permitted me to hold him and lay my first kiss upon his forehead; I still remember as if it was yesterday. It was a happy and sad time of my life. Sad for I knew in this little babies future; like the others; he was going to grow up. You want that for them. To grow as healthy as possible and as strong, so one day they could start the journey of adulthood. When I look at him now and all that he has been going through; I have come to the reality that he doesn’t have a clue what this is all doing to me. I can’t speak for him and his feelings of what is going on for him, but for me I am just at a loss. I do believe it is some other syndrome I am going through; which is pure loneliness. I can’t blame anyone but myself for this, but I can be disappointed in the men I have met and nothing has come out of them for me or even my son, but as one would say..."one monkey doesn't stop the show." I made up my mind long ago that I would give it all I had to raise this young man and even his other siblings. I left my parent’s home by a marriage, had children, had a divorce and yes I have met other men, but I have not ever been alone. I have always had someone with me. This is truly a new chapter in my life and I don’t want it to be painful, but enjoyable. I want to celebrate the work I have done in my past with my parenting and now look forward to what is going to happen in whatever the future has in store for me. I have no idea, but I am putting my feelers out there to get me on a fantastic path. I want to dance, sing, scream or shout joyfully, and most of all praise GOD for giving me the opportunity to do the things I have done and the things he will permit me to continue to do…LIVE. So my dear son...fly...fly high and keep your head to the sky. Fly birdie fly.