From here to San Francisco

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Body and Soul

As I sit here in pain, but not complaining, for it could be a hold lot worse. All things do pass in time and this will too. I just want it to move on faster. LOL. I have to laugh, for if I was to cry I know it would make it I will give all I have to smile.

As my IPod is on and my earplugs have Tony Bennett and various artists serenading me as I write you all. I hadn't realized I hadn't been here in a while, but no fault of anyones but me. I have just finished my Fall Sememster of Community College, yet already registrated for the Spring 2012. Yes, moving on till I can't or don't want to do it anymore.

I was just thinking of my dad the other day, oh yes, he is the one I spoke about that had passed four years ago, but I just realized I am not over not having him here. Everytime there is a accomplishment with my son or myself I am at a loss of not having his hugs. He gave the best hugs. He would be the only one that would realy, really care what was going on in my life. Yes, Daddy...still thinking of you.

I guess that is it for now. Just had to get it off my chest. Thank you for reading. This is good therapy if nothing else. Smiling...I am still smiling even as my heart still aches.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Who's Really Hurting

President Obama is traveling about the United States making speeches about creating jobs and what is happening to the schools. Presently, October 18, 2011, he is in North Carolina and has seen schools where the number of students attending a class are up and that there is not enough money for school books. Well, that wouldn't happen if we brought manufacturing back to the U.S. and then you wouldn't have people losing there jobs and their homes; for public school system is based on the property taxes on the homes in the district.

Why not get this big businessmen to get those businesses back to the U.S. than in the overseas. We all have to face the fact it is all about grid when it comes to them getting the business operating overseas. When we had our companies and manufacturers here we had weren't hurting.

Think of it that it is in the bible..Solomon and his grid factor and read what happen to him.

Big businessmen are gridy and not thinking of the States but there own self that live in the states and they are not blinded to what is happening to this economy for all they have to do is go to working class neighborhoods and take a look.

This country is going to suffer for if you can't supple a book to a student and you can't have a ratio of teacher to student...then what do you think will happen to the UNITED STATES. What is happening now....getting weaker.

How are can we preach to our children of a promising future when some have been kicked out of there homes, living in shelters, on welfare...with parents or parent barely making ends meet....what future do you think they really have.

WAKE UP take care of the kids we will have a bright future for all.

President Obama, you need to come West man and see what is is the same here and I see it everyday I drop my son of to school and with the grace of GOD...he is trying his level best to make good grades and still considering going to college...even if we are low-income.

It is real simple President Obama bring the jobs back home and we can make it. We need to make things not just becoming a service, we need to make things...big things like we use survive.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


I think I am going to expose more of myself today than I have ever. Today is the "Anniversary" of 09/11. I don't like the usage of the word "Anniversary", for isn't that for a celebration. We are not celebrating can we when over thousands of life's were loss over what...we still don't really know. There is nothing to be happy about. USA is still sad...very sad.

It pains me but not like those that have love ones loss...but it pains me all the same. I kept saying I was not going to write about this but it has to be said...why did all of those innocent people die and for what? What it a political game and those about the Twin Towers in New York and the Pentagon the pones. I pray GOD not...for that would be the worse. Was it really terrorist? Or is it that we wanted to be so? Something of this horrific, terrible, maddening, and totally painful day is still in our memory as if it was just yesterday.

I do believe we as a people..whether in the states or other countries; but especially here have not healed from it. We are damaged. We can't go about with our lives like it was the day before the incident..not to use that word lightly, but we have can not seem to move onward. We can't go to airports and get on planes like we use to, and it is bad enough we still blame people because of a religion that had nothing...absolutely nothing to do with it.

We need to heal...but "HOW?"; is the question. They have had videos online, top topics in the paper, pictures, footage of the day, and then it is all you hear do you expect people to heal if you are constantly reminding them. No, I don't want the people that had died to be forgotten..but I want those that are left to feel something better than pain to there hearts.

With all my love for those that loss someone or those children that loss there parents..when they thought like any other day they would see there mom's and dad's and now don' prayers..if you will except them go out to you all. GOD BE WITH US ALL or those that believe in someone or something that give you some feeling of heart is with you.


Tuesday, August 30, 2011


...I had that question asked me today.I know my name and but to know who I am...well, that is not really easy to say. I can change from moment to moment; hour by hour, day by day, or even with the blink of the eye; so can the name that goes with the personality. No, I am not schizophrenic; but we all have other ways of our self..we just have to own up to it and take hold of it and let it just....BE!

Ask yourself this...WHO AM I? You might just say you are a woman or man. You are not JUST a woman or me. Look at yourself...and think of what you can do or the powers you pose when someone looks at you. Women have many attributes so don't sell yourself short or even sale yourself. You are the most valuable of comity and men you are as valuable for you do have what we as women if we are going to have a have that seed but remember we can grow it. Men, you were created for reason just to assist in making of the children but to be that provider, protector, and the one that should be able to look up to. Women, you can have them yes, I had stated that but you are also a valuable person for you have that mind to take care, protect, security, comfort, and even you can even provide nourishment for a new born. You are quite necessary.

SO, how do I answer a question WHO AM I? I am who I and everything else that goes with being me.


Saturday, August 27, 2011

In My Sleep

I have just successfully figured out a math problem of "Solving Equations" and the real strange thing that how to solve it came in my sleep the night before.

In my sleep I was rested and as far as I know it came as a visual; I don't know about the time I was waking up and I was so blown away that "that is could I had not gotten stupid of me." Yes, I was beating myself up but as I just finished it I feel so great, wonderful, like I can breath. I am just laughing to myself but wanted to share this with someone so why not those that might read my blog. Thank you!

Ahhh, it feels better to let that go. Smiling..yes, I am just smiling for I love when I get it...get passed it...or just feel that spiritual CONGRATS and YOU ARE DOING WELL MY CHILD. I got it and it feels good.

I just needed to stop thinking of the problem and sleep; but I guess in my subconscious was not letting it go.


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Going Ahead

Yes, I posted some postings ago of the despair I feel about those going to college but I am one of them. My reasoning are quite different for it is something of a process I am testing myself with. I have been to many colleges before but yet hadn't received my degree but now it feels more rewarding yet a bit of stress but not as major as I had believe it to be.

For the longest I had let my age intimidate me about returning. As I have now walk along the corridors, paths, and sit into classes I see people my age if not older in classes. It was a comforting feeling. This is now my third semester; yet my first fall semester at the college.I am not taking on a full load until my son is secure in his junior year in high school. His future comes first for I had a chance back in the day so mine is taking slow when he is full speed ahead.

This is now his critical time in high school to have his school records be known to colleges around the country. We are both going ahead with our plans but for my son he really has no say so for he is a minor and I am most definitely a full grown adult.


Thursday, August 11, 2011

Never Give Up!

...that should had been the title to the article that I had read on Yahoo; whereas the author of book, "THE HELP", had Kathryn Stockett had sixty rejections to her book and then came sixty-one.

When we as writers have taken painstaking time, money, hopes, and dreams to one day to be published to hope there is an audience out there someone where that will take the time to look over the manuscript give it as much time that the author had writing it and then evaluate it's worth. It is like tasting a banana; you might like it but doesn't mean someone else will find it just as enjoyable as you. It is a required taste for some. A book is like that too...a required interest in what someone had written.

I have to applaud Kathryn for not giving up and not letting even family or friends to persuade her to stop writing. My dear believed in yourself....BRAVO.
That one publishing company is all it took for now it has been turned into a movie.

I too am going to be at the point where my manuscript could be rejected many of times and this article is going to help me to get pass the comments that will tell me that my work is not going to be published...well I will keep my head up, my ego out of the way, and my spirit to not be bruised for one should "never give up" on there dreams.


Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Gut Feelings

Feelings have a way of getting in the way; but have you had that certain feeling..whether it be a pause in your step, a hesitation, sinking feeling, or even a voice deep inside you to tells you to do something rather than what you were going to do. It is called "Gut Feelings" or instinct.

That certain something that is causing you to rethink your steps. "Don't do it; for you will regret it, "go right instead of left", "lay in bed and relax", "don't go down that path for it will be the wrong one." Haven't you heard those voices in your head? If you did and you didn't listen to them didn't you wish you had?

It happens to all of us if we listen to the inner voice inside not just our heads but a deep spirit...if you want to call it that..that tells us to do something that we could benefit from.

If you have an animal; haven't you noticed you could be taking a walk and it just stops and takes a different path, or it would be playing and all of a sudden it runs under the bed, or even barking at absolutely nothing; then take hid of that animal. His instincts are even sharper than ours for they are more in tune with the world around them.

I think we as human let too many things we see distract us that just taking the time to listen to ourselves. Next time you get that feeling something is going to happen ...then don't do what you were going to do; for 9 times out of 10 you could be right for it only takes one wrong move and there you will something you didn't want to be in or about.


Friday, August 5, 2011

Back To School

Fall semester is vastly approaching. Think of all the High School students that are entering into their Senior year and knowing my son will be doing that next year; I am totally wondering how to stay motivated in assisting him on to the thoughts or the dream he has for college.

He has wanted to go since he was eight years old; which did make me very proud and happy for him at that time but that was seven years ago and now when you look read the media about the layoffs, college costs going up, the careers that those study for four to six years if not more; to possibly have their hopes and dreams demolished with one swoop that there are no jobs out there to be had. I cringe with that thought. He has to have a future, his dream can not be destroyed, and yet I am saying the words of "you are doing well and it will pay off"; whilst wondering deep inside my very it really going to be.

As his only parent and mom it is my duty, my right, my responsibility to keep pushing him on to his dream but I don't want to lie to him either. We teach our kids not to lie yet the society of ours and government is lying to them and to us constantly. When will the lying stop. Tells us what is really going on. Is it only going to be the rich that succeed and the poor to be without. If that is the case then United States WAKE UP...we are going to be a THIRD WORLD country too.

We need even; but it is all being tested if not destroyed. I am not trying to be the doom of gloom here; but heck the reality is there with ever turn you make, with every dime that isn't worth a dime, with ever cost of living hiking upwards, with every adult college student coming back home because there is nothing out there. THIS HAS TO STOP. WE ALL NEED A FUTURE..especially the young. HELP!

Here it is world; I have this son that is a honor student and has worked hard to get himself there..don't let all that work be in vain. I believe in a good education but when I was growing up it was to go towards a career...I want him to have his career and to flourish in this world as far as he wants to go. Don't let him not be able to have that chance.


Thursday, August 4, 2011

What is considered too young

Now it is going too far when it comes to a young child; especially a girl..that is only 10 years old. I am speaking of the young model THYLANE LOUBRY BLNDEAU; that is in suggestive posses for the VOGUE PARIS magazine...let's call a spade a spade...this is VULGAR. That look is for at least for a model over 18 but better yet for someone in there 20's.

Here you hear about child pornography and this is just helping those that consider children as something they can have sexually...I THINK NOT!!!! She has lost all look of innocents in this way. She is just a child, a little girl, though cute in her way; is looking like a young prostitute.

I am not knocking art or the photographer but the magazine in a whole. SHE IS A CHILD for GOD sake; not a grown woman. What is this going to do to her psyche? I know no child is going to look at this magazine but things again...maybe so. I am concerned what this is going to do to them now with there self esteem. No child should be wearing makeup and yes, I am against young girl pageants as well. At some point it has to stop. In this way what are you labeling her as.

Innocents....where did it go? Being just a little girl...where did this go? Sweetness...where did it go? Don't let your little girls grow up too fast...for time will do that alone.


Tuesday, August 2, 2011


I have been away for sometime and I so apologize to those that have been following me back in 2010. So much has been going on that I had to return this day and this day especially for this is the time for me to be in memory of my belated father. Yes, he has left this earth by vessel but not by spirit. Even though it was back in March 2007; this day is special for it would had been his birthday...August 2; and would had been eighty-nine.

I can happily say I can type that without any tears but fond thoughts. This is why I am back. I have healed greatly since the last time I was here so let me have this time to say....Dad, I am thinking of you always, miss your hugs, your inspirational talks or lessons, and you voice. I know you are with me....I do.

Now that I had my moment...thank you; it was quite necessary. So much has been going on for I have decided to take steps in my life to go on and live the life I was given as a gift to live. One of the accomplishments was healing from his death and realizing that my early retirement because of a work injury is a blessing and not to torture me. I will let you know now; if you haven't figured it out for yourself...but be exact of what you ask your GOD for in your just might get it but if you don't give the specifics it might be something you didn't want.

No, I am not unhappy that I am in early retirement for it has given me time for what I wanted...time to raise my youngest son; which is now going on sixteen in the fall of 2011. Yes, a teenager; but I have to say he hasn't been giving me too many gray hairs. Thanks youngest son!

With the healing process I decided to go back to school. I am working on my degree in English Literature; not to prove anything to anyone but just for me. I am finally doing something just for me. I have been good daughter (well at least as good as I can), wife, and mother (but will be mother till I leave this earth).

It is different now at my age now; for when I look back at my life...when I was doing it the first time to go to college it was not a choice but as "have to" decision by my parents. Even though my son is making this decision to go to college after high school, I commend him for I had no idea back in the day what I wanted to do. I want to do everything and it is funny; for it hasn't changed.

Oh, yes, I could had gone whilst I was raising the other children; that are now grown and even with him and work all at the same time but I know me..I stress too easily and to do what I was doing was enough of a handful. See I know me..I am not about to kill myself to achieve and then not be around to enjoy the accomplishments. They say, "all things in it's time", well I guess this is my time.

My first fall semester is starting August 12, 2011..for I started last year in the Spring. Thus far I am doing well taking baby steps for the youngest is still my main priority; then once he is on his telling what it is to be in my future with school or anything in my life.

I am not planning but I am trying to prepare for being alone. I haven't done that before. I was daughter, wife, and then the idea of alone...I don't know what to expect and I am not going to even analyze it to death..well I will try not to at least, but it shall be interesting all the same.

Well, I will close for now but I will return and try not to stay away for so long but thanks for taking the time to stop by and check me out.

PS Thanks Dad for!