CITY IS WAITING FOR YOU

CITY IS WAITING FOR YOU
From here to there...to San Francisco

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Admitting why....

Just purchasing the book "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert and just getting starting to read it; it comes to me that at the end of page 11; I felt the need to confess something to this outwardly world of the Internet. What makes us do the things we do or say? Only GOD knows; that if you believe in a higher being or spirit. I do!

To continue the confession; I do know why I had an affair with whilst I was married...I simply wanted to have my husbands attention again like he use to do. Be devoted just to me...be interested in just me, be fantasizing over just me..not the Playboy magazine I one night saw him gawking over and here he had this woman that has had our first son but got her shape back that you couldn't believe I had a baby...but I did...ours. I wanted him to make love to me; not just get his "rocks" off but have me feel passion from him.

Here reading that last line on page 11 of "Eat Pray Love"..."I don't want to be married anymore." I didn't..not to him but not that I wanted to be married to anyone else but I did want to feel...love. Now, true I have just gotten started on the book and I am sure it is going to be..or at least I am hoping it will be not just enjoyable but might even speak out to me...for I think it just might for that one sentence...statement has. The movie doesn't come out till August 13, 2010, here in No. CA so I have to get it done. I end this now for I have to get back to my reading.
Thanks for even reading or taking the time to read.

By the way...he reminded shortly after our divorce that he went through on and I am still single. See I am not going to for what I went for before...I want what I want...a devoted man in love with me and I staying in love with myself.

You are probably wondering do I regret the affair? Well that my readers; isnt easy to answer for I did have a wonderful son, that I do believe was a gift for me to help me stay grounded and possibly still to feel love even if it isnt the love from a man for a woman..but love all the same for this son does have unconditional love. The affair itself...no, I dont regret for I did fall in love with the man but again I fail in a man really loving me. I stilll kep my prayers and hopes.